Friday, July 8, 2011

Ole phantom baby

From the first night we brought Beckham home from the hospital, he has always slept in his crib in his room. Call me old fashioned or not old-fashioned enough, i don't mind. The point is that he has never slept in our bed, much less in our room. Nevertheless, the first night home, I awoke in the middle of the night in a full-on sweaty panic. I was convinced that Beckham was being smothered in our covers and I had 0.2 seconds to get him out before he suffocated. I was spreading my entire body across our bed, combing through every crevice of material, heart racing, body temperature rising. I did this for about 3 minutes before I realized that in fact, the "thing" I was convinced was Beckham was actually John's leg. John, being stirred from his sleep by my grasp, gently told me that Beckham was not in bed with us and that I could go back to sleep. It only took me 2 minutes to actually believe him.

This cute little pattern has continued since he was born, usually once every few weeks. I awake, convinced our son is drowning in the covers, wrestle a bit with john's limbs, John awakes, brings me back to reality, and then I go back to sleep. Sounds exhausting? yes. because it is. both physically and emotionally!

A week ago my wakings took on a different tune. I woke up carrying Beckham and nursing him in my arms! I looked at the clock and it was 12:20 a.m., which is not his usual waking time. I thought to myself, "what have i done? why did i wake him up? i've messed up his routine now. Ugghhhh..." I decided I better take him back to his crib, and lo and behold, there was my real baby in his crib sleeping peacefully. Ole "phantom baby" had done it again.



The other day, I decided to google this phantom baby idea to see if I was the only one--turns out I'm not! Lots of other mothers have had the "baby suffocating in the covers" awakening. Makes me wonder what that's all about.... i'm sure some psychologist has done some research study on it. if they haven't, they should recruit me as one of their subjects. I'm sure it would be a riot...
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3 comments:

  1. JoylynnJuly 8, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    I've totally experienced that with Pascal - convinced that he was being smothered in our bed (although since we did let him sleep in bed with us a time or two or three or four, it might seem more expected). It's a terrible feeling, isn't it?!

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  2. Barbara JenkinsJuly 8, 2011 at 9:09 PM

    hate it for you and poor John's legs!

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  3. SamanthaJuly 9, 2011 at 6:01 PM

    You are not alone Briana! I've had the same thing happen to me since Parker was born. I nurse him laying down the nights that I am completely exhausted. I would lay with my arm under my Snoogle pillow the same way I would have it under Parker and I would wake up thinking that the pillow was Parker and he was suffocating in the blankets! It's the worst feeling in the world.

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