Easter weekend

I have always had an aversion to Good Friday--probably because its about my sin. "It was my sin that held him there, until it was accomplished". Doesn't sound like something I want to ponder. So, usually i think about the cross here and there and get excited about the resurrection. And even then, my excitement is only partly about Jesus. Most of my excitement is based around my church's service, what I am going to wear, what we are eating for lunch, being with my family, and trying not to stuff my face with candy, etc.

This year I realized that my usual thoughts about the cross entail me pitying Jesus i.e. wanting to help him off the cross and can't, or wanting to protect him from the mockers. On Friday I read the story of Jesus' crucifixion--the same one I have always read, but it was speaking to me in a new way. This was the first year (don't scoff, please) that I realized Jesus isn't asking for my pity. It's not about "those people that crucified him". It is about me putting him up there on that cross. Me mocking him, and me holding him there until it was accomplished.

Yeah, I've sung the songs and even grasped the concept in my head, but this...this understanding was in my heart. I began to grieve that my own sin had put him there, and felt the heaviness of my shame. It wasn't long, though, before I realized that I was headed down a path that was almost as self-centered as my previous thought process. I was still making it about me--about my sin. And then, the (even bigger) light bulb went off; that its not about how sad it was to see Jesus on the cross, and its not even about my wretchedness (although that is a part of it). It's about HIS sacrifice; the magnitude of what HE did for us--giving that the weight it deserves and recognizing my need for a Savior.

Sunday was a great day...maybe because Good Friday had more meaning than ever before. Although we haven't put down too many roots at our church here in Saginaw, we really do like it and like the pastor. Being there made me miss the familiarity and "home-ness" of Belmont and St. B's, but it was good to be there nevertheless. After church, John and I went to some friends house to have a cookout. It was big potluck, complete with most of our "med school family" here in Saginaw. It was an unbelievably gorgeous day. We threw the frisbee, played football, and ate great food. I also had a chance to play with my new camera--which i really liked. I felt like my sisters and mom all rolled into one. Here are some shots from the day.







I'm thankful that the reason we celebrate Easter is an everyday reality--unlike Christmas, where presents and trees fade, Easter's message is ringing true throughout creation every day--although most of the time I miss it, either because I am too busy or too consumed with myself. But, God is relentless in His pursuit of me, and us. That's cause for joy.